So, first thing first, I am a Christian, and super proud that I have been 'found'. The steps is my description of me going from Pennsylvania to California to Nevada, and finally to Oklahoma. It was kind of a bummer, at first, coming here. I was just praying that I would soon see my purpose for coming here; it was actually a way to graduate high school (easily, sorry okies!), and get into college. Truth be told it was a hard start; my sister had to die in order for my mother to even consider leaving Las Vegas, and than I had to pull myself together after a horrible break-up with a guy who seemed to be my rock. I also figured out that the only rock I will ever truly need is God, and that's where I went wrong w/ the boy (as my mother constantly reminds me). First blog ever in my brand new life, and well, my past one too. Hugo, OK will always be my true home because I like to think that I found God here, and he found me, so to speak.
I am not trying to trick anyone, so I will say this: I am not perfect. In fact, I am extremely selfish, a bad girlfriend, a lazy aunt, a tragic daughter, and a back-sliding Christian. I am in fact, an imperfect person.
Let me ask you something.....How could you have only, what seems like, one person in the whole world completely on your side, and feel like you are the, and I mean THE shit? Tell me that it wasn't love, and i'll agree with you. I'll nod my head, and have a intense look of understanding. It's completely false though, because no one can tell me it wasn't. I know it was.
The only reason why it went so wrong is that we simply weren't ready for it. Please forgive me if I linger on the past when I write, but it is what I am. The past.
Than again I don't believe that. I am starting this brillant, crazy future, and I have been waiting for these moments for 18 years. They are finally here, and now I don't have the excuse that my mother is holding me back. I pray for this world, when it meets me, and my antics. Pray for me, too.
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