Religion vs. Realism

I just got out of Intro. to World Lit. and I have some
thoughts on it, so bare with me. I know that it (realism)
is all about what is real (duh), and unsugar-coated
expression, but I believe that Romanticism is a type of
escape for people from the real and sometimes unbearable
stuff in life. All people need an escape, and who are
realist to prosecute them for that? I'm sure that even
realist can't handle everyday life, so why do they
complain? I think they are more concerned with the size 0
idea; the ignoring of troubles of suffering that
romantics 'do'. It probably wasn't their intention, except
they made the mistake of always trying to escape, and
forcing their fantasies onto the world. I think when you
need to escape you should escape into God's word. I know
the bible is a form of realism to them, but it is also a
beautiful picture that is real, and he paints to give us
peace by accepting his son. Hope for a better future is
what drives us all on, or at least a better afterlife, and
peace, and a new, unsnarl body. Think about it; would you
live as a faithful christian if you knew that we just die
when we die? If we are just stuck in the grave sleeping?
So, why do realists and believers ideas conflict so much?
Because realists always try to force their so-called fact
that the bible is not a real, factual source of history
and religion. What they have to see is that God, Jesus,
and the bible is all about belief; not about what is
proven, or about what we all know to be true. Why would
such a God make it that simple for us? It would be too
easy, and also a deal-buster. Everyone would know that it
is 'true', and how would they have any real faith if they
already know it is true? Say if you threw a apple in the
air, and had faith that it would come back down; we all
know from experience and experiment that it will. You
don't have faith in the apple but faith in gravity; it is
the same way with religion. We are supposed to have faith
in God, not in the fact that we've seen him, or Jesus
crucified, but in the words that are 'given' to us from
him. It is all about faith, and if you don't have it, or
need to see him, or a series of miracles, than you mind as
well keep being an unbeliever, because facts, and
actualities haven't gotten us any nearer to becoming
better people, or sinning less. It just brings us back to
wanting things that don't matter, and living a selfish,
unhopeful, unfaithful, useless life. Those are my beliefs,
not facts; you can take them and do what you want with
them, but in the end it is up to you, because it is on
your head, your soul.

God exists, and he loves us all but that fact does not
save you from the fire, rem. only your words and your
faith can save you.

Peace to all from a regular misbehaving christian,

Num12

Life's hard, but living is better

Life is hard, but when you actually live it; trust me it gets better. Just live your life, and put all those horrible thoughts and past tides behind you, and don't forget to forgive yourself. Just keep on moving on.

To 18 till 25; Being Single is a must

To everyone my age and up, it seems as if life ends when you've discovered that every 'single' one of their friends has a significant (or insignificant, just for show) other. Even the virgins; not a big surprise. Or maybe that's a little dramatic; life has ended for them in their minds, it has just come to a screeching halt. This knowledge has stopped them usually in a important part of their life. Like, say for instance you have just started college, or maybe you just graduated; woke up and even though they should be euphoric that they have accomplished something not a lot of people do, they fall back on thinking that they are really just failures. Maybe, they ponder, it's because they have focused so hard on doing what they had to do, that they simply forgot about the actual living part of their lives. Now, this makes them even more convinced that they are in fact, failures, because they realize that some, or most of their friends have been doing the same thing as them. So, why haven't they been able to 'multi-task' like their 'relationship-enriched' friends have? So, they are failures in their mind for a time. Up until they get out of their guilt tides, they might realize that it is not too late. They start dressing more 'appropriately', start noticing people around their neighborhood, job, school, or even the health department (is that only wrong to me?) ; people they've never noticed in that way before. Do yourself a favor, and I know you probably feel as if you need to snag someone quick, but don't settle for just anyone; it shows you have no respect for yourself, getting someone you can snag a little too quickly. I look at it this way, if you needed someone on your arm (or theirs) years ago, you would have had them. Truth is no one really can be alone. If anyone tells you this is a lie, than they must can't stand people, or they just love arguing. Everyone needs a friend, acquaintance, lover, or hubby. It was not God's intention for us to be alone in this world, so calm down, and wait for your 'turn' in the love boat. Now, I will not be a hypocrite and say I don't have any problems in the relationship department, because I do. I just don't have a problem catching any fish; I have a problem holding onto the fish. In reality, no joke, it actually is very hard (and dangerous) to try and hold onto a fish. Those evil little hidden razors on their slippery bodies don't really attract me. What attracts me to them is the fact that it is fun catching them. Here's a thought: Does it say something about me that I always want to return the fish, in question, back into the lake it has come from? I sure hope not, because even though I am emotional enough to feel for the fish, and let it go; I always 'cry' because I don't really want to give it up. Fish=my relationship patterns. Ummmm, I always just slip away like a fish; leaving the 'insane' guy that picked me out, in the first place, a couple of tears along the way. Going back to the topic at hand, your life will not end at this time, well not physically, if you do not have someone on your arm (or yours on theirs). This is a fact, and maybe I should make a separate list for my personal facts. If anyone of my friends made the statement "You are a dating machine"; I would completely agree with them, and also give back the statement, "At least I am not a baby machine, yet". They would laugh, and I would still be feeling bad about what they are really saying (in my head); I can not hold onto a guy, I mean, it's either that or they are calling me a you-know-what. My friends love me more than that though (the few true I do have). My point in that little thingy is that do not become so desperate that you fly through dozens of relationships in a year. It does nothing but confuse you, add to the pressure of meeting a 'good' one, and increase the number of relationships you are likely to have next year (THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!). Let things just flow, and don't wait around for someone if you know that deep down you don't even like or trust them. Trust. I don't believe in it, well, in this period of my life. The only one I'll ever truly trust is God, and I don't even need to meet the 'guy'. I am going to get off this subject, because I unknowingly trust everyone I meet (so my mother tells me, and my mother tells me a lot by the way). Anyway, life has just started to get good, and in my opinion why waste your time being restricted to a relationship that probably won't last long enough to meet the parents? You know how it is if you have a child. You can't go clubbing because the baby is sick, or you don't have a babysitter, or you can't go get a tattoo or piercing because you don't want to be a bad influence on your child. If someone does this either way it goes, bad influence or sick baby, they are horrible parents, and their children should be raised by some strange family, who already has 6 other adopted midgets. If you don't know already that is just one of my many untasteful jokes. I actually don't believe that makes you a bad parent, just a little unconventional. Also, I refer to children as 'midgets', because I think it's a cute 'little' nickname to characterize them all by, and also because I think too many people are sensitive to words like 'gay', or 'retarded'. They really are; it is just slang, a shorter way of saying certain things. So, in my opinion sensitive people shouldn't be too offended, because I certainly don't mean it in a bad way. Anyway, (I got off the point again; sorry:) why be held back if you don't have to be? You are basically just losing the youthful years of your life! Think about it; it won't look right if your 76, and stripping at a club (for fun) for the first time.

Peace out all the thoughtful people in the world

Pisces rule,

Num12

Tell me something I don't know part 1, probably

Tell me something I don't know. When my dreams crash down; what do I do next? When another guy has broken his promises; what do I do to keep my self-respect? Please tell me something I don't know. All I ever hear is stuff I already know, and ten times over at that. Sleeping with a broken heart is no joke. Lying under my covers when I want to feel warm, though it's sunny enough outside. Why does everyone tell you the things you have heard all your life, maybe even dealt with, and keep reminding you? 'Patience is a virtue', 'Wait your turn', 'Let them go, if they are truly yours they will come back', and my favorite, 'The best things in life are worth waiting for'. I know all of this, so why does my mother, father, pastor, teachers, counselors tell me it over and over. It gets so frustrating, like hearing a song played over & over when the song doesn't even apply to you anymore. I just would like for someone to tell me it's alright to actually feel pain, and maybe even wallow in it for a while. What's so wrong with sitting it out for a while and crying your eyes out,and than some, when you get tired of the same patterns in your life? I mean, sometimes I really wonder if I have learned any lessons in this life, because if I did I wouldn't have anything to show for it. Life is hard, but I think we all need a breather every now and than. To gather yourself, and shake off the rest.

Who are you to tell someone to stop 'whining' and pull themselves together. Yes, after a certain amount of time, but don't just step into someones life and judge them. Isn't blogging awesome?

Peace out
Num12

The Steps God laid out for me so Far

So, first thing first, I am a Christian, and super proud that I have been 'found'. The steps is my description of me going from Pennsylvania to California to Nevada, and finally to Oklahoma. It was kind of a bummer, at first, coming here. I was just praying that I would soon see my purpose for coming here; it was actually a way to graduate high school (easily, sorry okies!), and get into college. Truth be told it was a hard start; my sister had to die in order for my mother to even consider leaving Las Vegas, and than I had to pull myself together after a horrible break-up with a guy who seemed to be my rock. I also figured out that the only rock I will ever truly need is God, and that's where I went wrong w/ the boy (as my mother constantly reminds me). First blog ever in my brand new life, and well, my past one too. Hugo, OK will always be my true home because I like to think that I found God here, and he found me, so to speak.

I am not trying to trick anyone, so I will say this: I am not perfect. In fact, I am extremely selfish, a bad girlfriend, a lazy aunt, a tragic daughter, and a back-sliding Christian. I am in fact, an imperfect person.

Let me ask you something.....How could you have only, what seems like, one person in the whole world completely on your side, and feel like you are the, and I mean THE shit? Tell me that it wasn't love, and i'll agree with you. I'll nod my head, and have a intense look of understanding. It's completely false though, because no one can tell me it wasn't. I know it was.

The only reason why it went so wrong is that we simply weren't ready for it. Please forgive me if I linger on the past when I write, but it is what I am. The past.

Than again I don't believe that. I am starting this brillant, crazy future, and I have been waiting for these moments for 18 years. They are finally here, and now I don't have the excuse that my mother is holding me back. I pray for this world, when it meets me, and my antics. Pray for me, too.